Reviewing CW's The Acolyte

Oh my gosh, who's going to hook up with who? Oh my gosh, who are you shipping with who? Now that Yord got the ker-snap to the ol' neck bones, who is Osha's major love interest? Have the fans ever been more interested in Star Wars? Oh wow, a pool scene, ooh, spicy, so romance, such appeal, much drama! 
But no, for real, who the frick is watching this show and unironically enjoying it?
HotD ep 3 was good too, but Acolyte is so bad we can't get around it. 

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Music by Karl Casey @ White Bat Audio